What doesn’t change

This is something I wrote about 1.5 years ago. Please go ahead and read the old, unfinished part and then the commentary below it.

It just occurred to me today that in less than 2 months Brent will be a part of my family. No longer will I be part of a nuclear family in terms of “family,” but my immediate family will now be Brent (and Toby and Jeeves). That is an odd reality.

Pretty soon, his dad, who I now call “Mr. Bays” will be my father-in-law. His brothers, my brothers-in-law, and his niece will become my niece. I will also change my name to his.

I won’t be able to just pick up and leave for a trip whenever I want to, nor will I be making life choices on my own.

It’s funny how all of these things seem so petty now that we’re 15 months into our marriage. Most of what I think about as a wife revolves around the details of making it through the day. I’m afraid to think in fast forward mode because I want to be good at what I’m going in the present time.

There have been a few times when I’ve thought about how I can’t just take any old job and move to another state or something. I don’t bug out about it like I first did, while I’m thankful for. Having a teammate to get through the beautiful and tough times is so much better than going it alone.

At first, it was so weird to have a husband. OK, I still get chills when he says to me, “You’re my wife.” That does it every time. But I’m past the novelty of having a new last name. The ring on my left hand is simply part of my daily “uniform.” I forget that we’re still “newly married.”

What I pray never gets old is the absolutely serenity of falling asleep and waking up in the arms of another human — of someone who loves me unconditionally — a completely safe place. I feel God close in those moments. I pray that never changes.


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